


The Neighbor From Hell

by MaddieBonanaFana



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 08:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12553116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieBonanaFana/pseuds/MaddieBonanaFana
Summary: Graham and Neal's son Darcy gets into trouble with their bad tempered, gun toting neighbor Amos Slade.





	The Neighbor From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, Amos uses some homophobic language.

"Oh shit," was all Darcy could say.

 

The baseball that was _supposed_ to hurl towards Berlioz had flown right by him and smashed right into Amos Slade's window. 

 

Darcy's neighbor from hell.  

 

The sound of the broken window had alerted Chief, Amos's guard dog, who was just as old and crotchety as he was. His bark was all it took for Berlioz to grab his brother, Toulouse, and take off running, leaving Darcy with nothing but a "good luck dude!" As escaped.

 

_Some friends they are,_ thought Darcy, as he just stood there in shock. 

 

Sure enough, there was the slam of a door and a gunshot ringing out, which made Darcy duck. Whenever Darcy got caught doing something by him he'd always come out shooting his gun and ranting like an old fool. He was sure one of these days he was going to get shot.

 

"Dang nabbit boy, I thought I told you to stay the hell out of my yard!" Amos thundered, shotgun in hand and Chief by his side. 

 

"I wasn't in your yard!" Darcy yelled back, and it was the truth this time. Darcy and the O'Malley brothers had been playing a fair distance away from Amos Slade's house. It was just Darcy's bad luck that he overshot his throw. 

 

"Like hell you weren't, you smashed my window on purpose!"

 

"I did not, I was playing!"

 

"Don't give me that crap, boy, nobody plays catch with themselves!"

 

Darcy groaned internally. He was dead in the water now.

 

"You busted my window you little varmint,  and its comin' outta your daddies paycheck!" Chief snarled at Darcy, looking as if he only needed one word and he'd pounce. "I have half a mind not to shoot you where you stand, wrecking my property like that. I've just about had it with your antics, I'll-"

 

"Hey!" the sound of Darcy's father's voice made him snap out of his frozen, trembling state. Neal, having heard the shouting and the gunshot, raced out to the scene. He immediately took a protective stance in front of Darcy, who wasn't sure if he felt relief for the rescue, or fear of his anger about the window.

 

"Amos, what the hell is going on? Could you point that gun away from my son please?" This wasn't the first time Neal had dealt with his neighbors temper, and he had learned that he may as well save his voice and not yell right off the bat, because there was no telling just how long Amos planned to scream at him.

 

"I'll tell you what's going on, your troublemaking son done smashed my window, made me think I was being attacked-"

 

"Alright, we'll you're not under attack, so could you put that thing down please?" Neal was still standing in front of his son, fully intending to take a bullet should Amos get trigger happy.

 

Amos scowled at Neal, but lowered his gun.

 

"That little rat of yours threw a ball in my window, smashed it to pieces. Coulda' hit me on the head had I been standing there!"

 

Neal looked towards his son, waiting for an explanation. 

 

"We were playing catch, I swear. I wasn't in his yard this time, I promise!" Pleaded Darcy. "I didn't mean to break his window." 

 

"Lies! He's always on my property trying to rile me and Chief up, and I've had it!" Shouted Amos, his face beet red and his fist clutched. 

 

"It was an accident, Amos," Neal countered. "I know because the boys were just inside playing video games, they asked me if they could go outside and play catch."

 

"Well my window is still broken, and I ain't payin' for it!"

 

"Alright," Neal said, "I'll write you a check for the window."

 

"And I want that little weasel punished, he's always out here causing trouble and I'm tired of it."

 

Now Neal was getting a bit heated. 

 

"I'm not going to punish him for an accident, Amos," said Neal.

 

Darcy looked back and forth between his father and Amos. This wouldn't be the first time Neal had engaged in a screaming match with him. Darcy just wished his father would walk away and leave the crazy old man be. 

 

"AN ACCIDENT? HE SMASHED MY DAMN WINDOW AND YOU DON'T THINK HE NEEDS PUNISHING?"

Amos's face was getting redder and hotter with each word he screamed. Darcy hid behind his father, hating himself. His father wouldn't be getting screamed at if he hadn't broke the window. Darcy just wanted to sink into the ground. 

 

"I said I'd pay for the window, but how I discipline my son is none of your concern," Neal said, trying to control the rage in his voice. 

 

"You're too soft on that boy, you'd let him get away with murder," Amos spat. "Where's the sheriff? I wanna talk to the real man of the house."

 

"He's at work, guess you'll have to settle for me," Said Neal, his tone implying that Amo's slide remark did not go unnoticed. 

 

Amos sucked in his teeth and said, "Damn shame our sheriff got mixed up in this mess, I respected that man too."

 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Neal said.

 

"Well it's no wonder your son is always causing trouble, being raised by two men. It's unnatural is what it is."

 

Darcy could see his father clenching his fist, and even he looked up to scowl at Amos.

 

"Darcy," he said, "Go inside please,"

 

Darcy stayed right by his father's side. 

 

"My son's parentage has nothing to do with this. I'm not gonna stand for your homophobic crap, if you don't like me and my  _husband_ ," Neal said, emphasizing the word 'husband', "Then you can take your guns and your mutt and get the hell out of here." 

 

"I was here first, and I'm not gonna let two pansies and their little unnatural brat run me out!"

 

Neal's face immediately turned a shade of bright red.

 

"Do NOT call my son unnatural!' He yelled, getting right in front of Amos's face. 

 

"And what are you gonna' do about it?" Amos fired right back, not backing down. 

 

"I'm not against hitting an old man if he deserves it," said Neal. 

 

"Oh, now you're threatening me, is that it?"

 

"Considering you almost shot my son? I should have threatened you in the first place."

 

"Well if I catch your son on my property again, next time I won't miss." 

 

Neal didn't even give consideration to the dog and the gun, raising his fist to punch the old man. 

 

Before his fist could connect with Amos's face, the sound of a car pulling up and Darcy shouting 'dad!' made him stop. 

 

Someone must have called the cops, because Graham's sheriff car pulled up to the scene and he raced out of it before any bad decisions could be made. 

 

"Woah, woah what's going on here?" he said, stepping in between the two men. 

 

"Your damn son broke my window and-"

 

Neal didn't let him finish, "Darcy accidentally threw a baseball into his window, so he came out waving his gun like always and almost shot our son!" he yelled.

 

Graham looked to Darcy, who was looking at his feet and hiding behind Neal, clearly feeling guilty he had caused all this. 

 

Amos pointed a finger at him. "He destroyed my property, how was I supposed to know he wasn't an intruder? Wouldn't be the first time I caught him tresspassin'!" 

 

For the first time since his father came over, Darcy spoke up.  "For the last time, I WAS NOT IN YOUR YARD!" He screamed. 

 

"Hey, watch that tone of yours boy!" Said Amos.

 

"He told you he wasn't in your yard, you're not listening!" Neal defended him. 

 

All three of their voices were mashing together and giving Graham a headache. He was so tired of having to be the middleman in these arguments. They really needed to find a new place to live. 

 

"All of you, stop!" He shouted, and thankfully, they did. "Now," he continued. "Darcy, I want you to apologize to Amos for breaking his window. You need to find somewhere else to play catch next time, do you understand me?"

 

"Yes dad..." Said Darcy.

 

"Good, now apologize." 

 

"I'm sorry for breaking your window. It won't happen again."

 

Graham looked pleased. "We're making progress."

 

"That's all you're gonna do?!" Yelled Amos, "A 'sorry'?!"

 

Graham turned towards him. "You'll get a check for the damages."

 

Amos let out a scream, "I don't care about the damn money, I want that little brat punished!"

 

Behind Graham, Neal tensed, still trying to resist the urge not to punch him. Graham simply narrowed his eyes at Amos and studied him.

 

"You know, I don't remember you getting that gun registered." At this, Amos lowered his guard. "I know we all live with magic, and fairies, and the occasional werewolf or two, but we do like to have somewhat a sense of normalcy here. Mind if I see your permit?"

 

Neal and Darcy couldn't help but crack a smile, though Graham kept a straight face. 

 

"Y-you aren't takin' my gun away," Said Amos, visibly nervous.

 

"I never said I was going to take your gun away, I just wanted to see your permit for it," Graham said simply. 

 

"Well, I-I don't have it on me-"

 

"Ok, so maybe instead of showing me your permit, you can apologize to my son and husband for screaming homophobic remarks at them. You live in a town where magic and dragons exist, Amos. Two men raising a child together really should really be your last concern."

 

Amos said nothing, just stared with pure hatred at them.

 

"Or I can just take your gun since you clearly don't have a permit for it," Offered Graham.

 

Amos growled, then finally said, "I'm sorry."

 

Graham could have dragged it out to an even more satisfying apology, but he didn't want to deal with the man anymore.

 

"Alright, well, I think we're done here," he said. "Neal, can you take Darcy back home please? I have to get back to work. And Amos, please make sure to leash your dog next time, would hate for Chief to run off into the path of a dragon."

 

Amos grumbled, but started walking back to his house, gun and dog in hand.

 

"Oh, and one more thing," Said Graham, before he could fully walk away.

 

When Amos turned out, clearly not pleased, Graham said "If you ever try to shoot my son again, I will take your gun and I will put you in jail until the end of your days. Hope thats clear." 

 

Amos said nothing, but the threat clearly worked. 

 

As they walked away, Neal said "You should have let me punch him." 

 

"You can punch him next time." 


End file.
